ENNDLESS 2

I wanted you to wait like I have been waiting.

I needed you to want me like I want you.

I wanted a fairy-tale ending something Hollywood would buy. Maybe, just maybe I have lost my mind a little but I want to believe its ok. When has it ever been wrong to love without an end. Aren’t we supposed to love one another anyway? Aren’t we meant to live in a world were love rules more than the money? Just tell me you believe in love at least, I already have to let you go I need something to hold onto. Leave something in my hand to cherish, let it be love.

You live your life like I was never in it and you seem so happy, how do you do it? Teach me to forget you like you forgot me. Teach me to walk away and never look back. Teach me to see your face and not feel my heart tug at itself. Teach me to unlove, to let go, to not hurt.  I promise it’s the last you will see or hear from me, I just need to know how to forget. Because right about m=now 1+1 = 11 and it completely makes sense to me, but I hear its only me who gets it. You lost count too, it means you, you are doing just fine without me, your sanity is not falling apart. This can’t be right.

ENLESS 1

Am I what they call a write off in a fatal accident to you? I am starting to feel like I never really meant much to you because in my head if I did you would be in the very same space with me yearning to be with me. You would want to love me without an end. Your heart would be putting together melodies never to be forgotten by those around you because I would be the inspiration. Together we would leave imprints of love in people wherever we went. Hand in hand we would conquer the life battles that came at us. Knee to knee we would call on God and grow in strength and faith.

I stand corrected. I am the only one living in delusion. I guess I’m starting the journey that you finished long ago now. It’s my turn to detox from you, and I still don’t know how. It’s my turn to forget and I can’t find the manual. So I guess I am playing myself because the reality is I have to love to unlove you. I probably won’t forget you but the new love will stand before the old and blur your memories. And so that is enough, it has to be. Or is it just toxic?

END