K.J.C

Somewhere within me I want to be angry instead of sad.. It feels easier to be angry with you than sad about everything.. Crying is a weakness they say and I want to play strong but I feel myself growing weaker by the day.. Praying has always been my weapon but I kneel and no words can express what I’m feeling so I just lie down and hope God can feel it too..
You broke my dry spell only to start it over again.. 

You promised though, you did, you darn promised me dammit!!

You couldn’t hold on to your words but to her..

You forgot the pain you claimed to be sharing with me so you could share a walk..

You say it was a mistake, I don’t get it but I do get the mistake I made..
To believe that you would never hurt me.

To believe that you were different from the rest..

To trust you with all of me..

To trust that your words would match your actions.. 
I poured myself into you, I guess that’s why I feel empty.. 

I want every piece of me back..

I want me back.. 

I want my voice back.. 

Give me my stuff BACK.. 
In my head I have bashed you..

In my head I have tied you up..

In my head I have tortured you..

In my head I have fixed you up..

But that’s all I have, imagination.. 
I hate that I will bump into you in this small world.. 

I hate that I will smile at you because I’m a terribly nice person..

I hate that I loved you so dearly and now I have to hate you..

I hate that everything love related reminds me of you..
Writing often helps but I feel angrier..

Cooking is my all time remedy but I chop and dice to no trace of healing..

Well done, you broke me..!! 

Well done, you built the walls up again..!!

Well done, you emptied me..!!